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Quotes

Me having a page without quotes? I think not! So here you go^^

"Suicide Hotline...please hold."

Madness is just an obsession.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
- Dr. Seuss


"Always deny the apocalypse. Because you're mostly going to be right, and even if you're wrong, there will be no one around to say 
'I told you so'" - Charlie McDonnell 

"Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry" - Dr. Seuss

"Dick and vagina is a lot like coke and pepsi, I strongly prefer the one but my dad thinks they taste the same" - Bo Burnham

"Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart " @JimCarrey

It’s quite ironic that in life,
the person that brings out the best in you,
and the one that makes you strong,
is actually your weakness...

Build your own little world before the one we live in collapses!!!

Having hope helps humans handle hell.

The longest distances are usually walked alone

Let your light shine. Don't fight mine.

Death is frozen truth.

"I masterbate cause I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to fuck me" -Bo Burnham 

Love is a four letter word that you have to figure out yourself, and without a dictionary

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. 

‎"When I was a boy, my mom would send me down to the corner store with a dollar, I'd come back with 5 bags of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 pints of milk, a hunk of cheese, a box of tea and 6 eggs. You can't do that now. Too many security cameras..."  

Do you realize... that happiness makes you cry..?

Dead People Got No Reason to Live

Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge - It hurts less!

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."
- Scott Adams

“Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”
-Woody Allen

"Don't get frustrated. Get busy figuring out your plan. You can turn this around if you just keep trying."
- Lemonade Mouth

"Mommy, are those people on drugs?"
"No, honey, those are cosplayers. They don't have money for drugs."  

I've given up on love - the one time I had it, it ran away, like a lost puppy looking for its true owner...

"You say that you love the rain,
but you open your umbrella when it rains.
You say that you love the sun,
but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.
You say that you love the wind,
but you close your windows when the wind blows.
This is why I am afraid, when you say that you love me too..."

"I would like it if the voices shut up every once and awhile. The one that speaks only Russian is starting to piss me off." 

Those people who say words can never hurt them never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold. Revenge is sweet. Does that make revenge ice cream?" - John Bliss 

We are all soldiers. Stand or die.

"Someday, perhaps, I'll come to understand your thoughts' flow, and on that day, I fear, I'll have to kill myself."----Jarlaxle

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -Herm Albright

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams

"Oh, my God. Brian, There's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says 'Ooooo'"
"Peter, those are Cheerios."

10% Luck
20% Skill
15% Concentrated Power of Will
5% Pleasure
15% Pain
And a 100% Reason to Remember the Name

"If you grab the edge of your chair and pull as hard as you can you'll lift yourself into the air." -Andy Riley, Great Lies To Tell Kids

There will be a time in your life you meet an asshole that knows better. 

There are 10 kinds of people - those who understand binary, and those who don't...

"We are susceptible to negativity, and the seductive tentation to settle for "adequate", when with a little more effort we can be OUTSTANDING." -Walt Stanchfield

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. -Pablo Picasso

life's short, lets fuck

"Life is what's going on, while you make other plans"-
John Lennon

Darkness makes us equal

"Such negativity...! Bring in the sunshine! And the rainbows! And the men in assless chaps! They sure know how to have a grand old time..."

“ Wouldn't it just be rock ‘n roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back? ‘Course that would be a different universe and something else would probably suck.”
 -Olive Snook, Pushing Daisies

"I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it." -Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray

= Well... no many witches believe in ghosts, but I don't think that many ghosts believe in witches either =

Never underestimate the power of imagination, it might kill you if you're careless

"Grumpier than a pumpkin full 'o PMS!" - Olive Snook, Pushing Daisies

"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." -Sam Brown

You probably don't recognize me without my cape~

The eternal weirdo who is always learning... learning how to be more weird. 

When everyone's a winner, no one is.

"I try not to let things I can't change bother me." Ronon Dex

"I am your death. That is all you need to know!" Stevie the Wraith

"When the going gets tough, the tough hide under the table" - Baldrick


"They must want... to make us think, that's where they want us to go. Because they think, we'll think,we know they know we know, so we won't go!"

"One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict."

Erno: "hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is."

"Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing" - Woody Allen

'You guys need to stop being such asses and start being badasses.' - Jesse St. James
 
"There is nothing more badass than being who you are." ~Darren Criss

"Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk?"
-Tom Waits

Here I'm a wizard! I can fly, and turn invisible, and I just travelled the f*ck back in time!!!!!
-AVPS

In a nutshell, this world can be summarized in the action of a teacher praising the Freedom of Speech while taping the students' mouths shut.

Reality is always stranger than fiction, because reality doesn't have to make sense.

Understeer is when you hit the wall dead on. Oversteer is when you hit the wall sideways. Horsepower is how hard you hit the wall. Torque is how far you bring the wall with you.

"Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them"

 I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.

We're all mad here, but personally I don't believe in madness

“Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro—I'm Broda!”

This is the internet, where the men are men, women are men, and the children are FBI agents

Screaming is bad for the voice, but it's good for the heart.

I might talk about killing people, but that doesn't mean I do it.

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

The human race is lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. 

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk.

The more empty your head is, the more room there is in it for your dreams.
-Mr. Culexus

☯Good night☯

Song Quotes

"If memory serves,
I'm addicted to words,
and they're useless..."
Let's Get Fucked Up and Die, 
Motion City Soundtrack

"In a show of hands, 
who has said these words before?
In a show of hearts on the floor, 
who has ever meant them more?"
Just Say You're Not Into It, 
Mayday Parade

"So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow"
Bullet, 
Hollywood Undead

"Boy, can I tell you a terrible thing
It seems that I'm sick, 
and I've only got weeks
Please don't be sad now, 
I really believe
You were the greatest 
thing that ever happened to me..."
Terrible Things, Mayday Parade

"If home is where the heart is, 
then we're all just f*cked"
27, Fall Out Boy

"I just wanna play you, baby
Download you and pay you, baby"
My Favorite Tune, Skye Sweetnam

“Should I judge you 

or analyze myself instead?" 
Melody for Melody, Charlie McDonnell

"And I’ll just smile
and make believe
I don’t feel a thing

that doesn’t work for me"
Oh Well, Oh Well, Mayday Parade

 "If you could step into my head,
Tell me would you still know me
If you woke up in my bed,
Tell me then would you hold me"
So I Need You, 3 Doors Down

Movie Quotes

"Be excellent to each other"
"And party on dudes!"
-Ted and Bill, 
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

"The only way to be intimate with you
is to be gay!"
- James, Love and other Disasters

"I've gotta take a piss..."
- Chris, Rock Star

"All you need is
20 seconds of courage"
- Benjamin Mee, We Bought A Zoo

"I don't know about you,
but I like this ending better"
- Gnomeo, Gnomeo & Juliet

"If you don't stand for something, 
you'll fall for anything"
- Wise Man, SuckerPunch
 
"Harry Potter can kiss my ass!"
- Reid Garwin,The Covenant

"Just the way I like my women -
 furry and feisty"
Zach, 
Without a Paddle: Nature's Calling

Series Quotes

"A crisis of epic proportions..."
-Darkwing Duck, 
Darkwing Duck: Getting Antsy

"Something old,
something new,
something borrowed,
something blue"
-Amy Pond,
Doctor Who: The Big Bang

"There's a moment in your life when you say to your self 'Oh! There you are!' I've been looking for you forever...'"
-Blaine, Glee: Original Song

"You know nothing of modern culture, Bernard. Beckham, Posh, Pokemon"
"Pac-Man! It's pronounced Pac-Man"
-Fran and Bernard,
Black Books: He's Leaving Home

"Speed has never killed, its suddenly becoming stationary that gets you!" 
-Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear
 
-"Are you really a babysitter?"
"I think you'll find I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult" 
"It's just a bunch of wavy lines" 
"Yeah? It's shorted out. Finally, a lie too big"
 - Young Kazran and The Doctor,
Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol

Reference Quotes

"Mice?" "You were expecting turles, maybe?"
"From the looks of things, I'd say 'theyre here...'"
"I have one you might like you to meet: Exterminator" "Hasta la vista, rodents" [...] "I'll be back"
-Biker Mice From Mars

Pick-Up Lines

Wanna play carpenter? First we get hammered and then I nail you.

You remind me of my little toe.
Small, cute, and I'm probaby going to bang you on the coffee table later.

Russekort

Picture
Ingenting er mer irriterende enn å diskutere med en person som vet hva han snakker om.

Yup I'm like barbie, only better!

Først meg selv og så min neste, hvis det er til mitt eget beste!

Jeg fortalte en gutt en gang at han var hele verden for meg, men jeg har lært mye om geografi siden den gang.

Jeg er ikke full, jeg er bare i kjemisk ubalanse

Du er ikke skikkelig full før asfalten hopper opp og skaller deg i hue

Jeg er glad jeg har lys stemme, for da fokuserer ikke folk bare på puppene mine.

Ofte kan det lønne seg å spille dum, slik at folk tror de snakker med en likeverdig

Det fødes lærere hver dag - bruk prevensjon!

Det er bedre å bli voldtatt av Supermann enn å bli fingera av Kaptein Krok.

Det finnes to typer mennesker: De som tar feil, og de som er enig med meg. Alle har lov til å ha min mening!

Jeg kan motstå alt unntatt fristelser.

Min form for husarbeid er å feie over rommet med blikket.

Det gjelder å holde tungen i den rette munnen.

"Hvis du våkner med dette på nattbordet, har jeg allerede kledd på meg og rømt ut vinduet"

Jeg sa ingen ting i timene i redsel for å vekke de andre

Hvorfor skal jeg tenke før jeg snakker, når jeg ikke aner hva jeg skal si før jeg har sagt det?!

Quotes på Norsk

Man må henrette seg etter forholdene...

...la det swinge til du mister [alt]+[ctrl]

"Lenge har det vore eit mål å få folk til å flytte tilbake til bygdene. Ein har prøvd å nå dette målet ved å apellere til folks samfunnsånd og fortelje ungdom med stor studiegjeld at det kanskje er litt korttenkt å skaffe seg ein spennande og godt betalt jobb i Oslo når det går an å sitte arbeidslaus på Vestlandet og sjå på eit fjell. Av ein eller annan grunn har denne politikken berre vore sånn måtelig vellykka."
- Are Kalvø.

Jokes

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.  The 
bartender asks… "Olive or twist?"
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